Living in a paradox

When I was a child, the hair on the back of my neck often stood up in anticipation of the theme music and topic to be explored by the next episode of “In Search Of…” Rod Serling’s voice would narrate the strange and unusual, modern day mysteries to be uncovered. Topics like Bigfoot, The Bermuda Triangle, UFO’s would be presented in a way to invite the viewer to participate in deciding if the mystery was true or in fact a myth.

Today I am reminded that we have a modern day mystery. Actually it’s more of a paradox. In life before Corona Virus, we complained of being too busy and never having enough time to do the things we needed or wanted to do. Now that we are settling into new routines of work and school from home we can find that the abundance of time also is off-putting. We in fact might be:

In Search of The Present Moment

When I teach about Stress Management I mention that when speaking about things we wish we would have done, should have done or could have done differently, we are in fact living in the past. This rumination and fixation on problem solving the past often tips our hats to the presence of depression.

Likewise, people who speak about making plans, having alternate plans for those plans, trying to anticipate every obstacle and option for meeting those challenges can be said to be living with a future mindset. Future focus is often the terrain of anxiety.

The Problem

We are experts at living in the past and anticipating the future, but by and large we stink at living in the present moment. In fact so much time is spent trying to understand or ward off possible threat that we don’t in fact live life. We live in our heads. We are very comfortable living in our heads, above our shoulders but cut off from the rest of our body. It isn’t until we are reintroduced to the experience of living in the present in our bodies that we realize how much we haven’t been doing so.

Mindfulness to the Rescue

Try this - take a moment to notice where you are. Open your eyes and look around the environment you find yourself in. Take note of the light or absence of light. Notice the colors and shapes that surround you. Are you inside or out? Notice if there is any movement around you.

Next listen. What noises can you here, right here, right now? Are there more than one happening at the same time? Can you describe them? What else do you hear? Is it close to you or off in the distance?

Now check out how things feel right now. Are you sitting, lying down or standing? Where does your body come in contact with the surrounding environment? Can you describe the texture of that contact? Soft, firm, breezy, cool, hot, warm? Are there textures surrounding you? Fabric, wood, plants, metals, water? Describe these.

Next see if you can smell anything. Is there a fragrance where you are right now? What does it smell like? Can you describe it? Bonus points if you don’t use things like disgusting, stinky, magnificent, wonderful, just describe without adding judgement to it. Can you smell your hair, clothing, beverage? Does the air around you have anything unique to it?

Last, see if you can taste anything. What was the last thing you ingested? Beverage, drink, toothpaste, snack? Describe what you taste…

Now check in with yourself. How are you feeling right here, right now in THIS moment? Taking the time to intentionally drink in your surroundings is a great way to ground yourself in the present moment. Most likely in this present moment, you are safe.

(Note If you find you are ill - you can still use your senses to notice yourself in time and space. Notice the people who surround you. Those who are caring for you. Those who are praying for you. Those spiritual beings you invite to your side. You can notice the sound of your breath, of your blood rushing in your ears. Speak to yourself with a calm tone and healing words. Ask your immune cells to wash your body in healing. To rush to the need of your cells that need to be bathed in healing energy. In this present moment your body is doing what it needs to do to rest and to heal.)

Welcome Your Experience

Mindfulness is an attempt to interact with the present moment without judging yourself or your situation, without pushing what you are experiencing away. Instead it invites whatever in and offers it welcome. There is a gift in experiencing life on life’s terms. Sometimes anxiety is bigger in anticipation of what is to come rather than the actual anxiety of what is.

Learning how to live in the moment reduces overall suffering. Even when there is actual suffering in a given moment, by staying in the present moment - none of the story and narrative we surround our experience with, comes to bear, and we have more energy to deal with what is.

Mindfulness is a skill. Skills need to be practiced to be mastered. Take some time to hone this skill. You may find that your experience of suffering is less fear inducing. You can handle it. You have what you need, in this present moment. If you want more help developing this skills contact me and we can work together on it.