Notice that…

One of the beauties of EMDR therapy is the use of resources. Simply recognizing that you have resources; a network of tools and people you can turn to in time of need -can significantly reduce stress. Realizing that one’s network is thin and needs to be built up is good information, and gives you something to work towards.

When learning coping skills we often want to learn how to calm down, how to shift from a bad mood to at least a neutral mood space. Tools abound to help with staying in the present moment, grounding, becoming centered and able to withstand life’s demands.

Taking stock of the good

What is often forgotten is the value of taking time to pause and savor when good things happen in life. We are quick to focus on the negative, because survival is a thing. Paying attention to that which can hurt us and learning to avoid those situations is a great survival skill.

But all of life is not about survival. Sometimes life is actually sweet.

There are those fleeting moments of beauty. Those rays of sunshine peeking through on a gray day. The smell of fresh coffee or fresh baked goods that greet you upon entering a shop with friends. The sound of your dear ones voice. Chirps of birds or greetings by beloved pets. The warmth of bed when its time to snuggle under the covers. A turn of phrase in a book or movie that catches your fancy. You get the idea.

Joys are often fleeting, ethereal and hard to hold onto. And when practicing Mindfulness, attachment and holding onto those moments isn’t even the goal. Instead, stopping, paying attention in a particular way, savoring those moments are part of the mindful life. The EMDR tool of butterfly hugs or other bilateral stimulation (think left right drumming or tapping in alternation) can help solidify a wistful memory or moment. Tapping in this way helps us recall that bad stuff isn’t all that we experience. We experience good moments too. There are victories, proud moments, playful times, curiosity quenched, cuddles given, care received Do yourself a favor and be on the lookout for moments like these. By choosing to look for them, you may find that they are more frequent than you knew. And you might just begin to see that life ain’t all bad.

How to tap in the good

• Begin by giving yourself a hug, opposite hand on opposite arm.

• Once you feel held, gently tap your right hand on your left arm, then left hand on your right arm in a back and forth motion.

• While tapping - simultaneously call to mind the moment you wish to savor.

• To enrich the moment, replay the scene and pay attention to the sights, the sounds, the textures, temperatures and feelings, the smells and tastes of that moment.

• Tap for 1-3 minutes or longer if you wish.

• Finish with a big inhale and a long slow exhale.

This practice can either be done during the moment itself or upon recall later on if that suits you better. Try it and see how it works for you. Having trouble? Contact me and I’d be happy to show you how to add enjoyment to your life.