The political discourse around Pride Month is divisive. And those that don’t wish to have LGBTQ+ people celebrated clearly don’t understand what it means to be a disparaged, underserved, underrepresented community. Progress has been made, and progress has been taken away.
It only takes spending some time in queer circles listening to learn how hard life is for anyone living here. It takes vigilance to assess who one is speaking to, whether the person is willing to view them as a real human worthy of the right to life, whether that person secretly hates or discriminates against them. What you can talk about is up for questions. Who matters in your life has to be considered before divulging your family status. Whether the person you are engaging with will honor your name, pronouns, relationship status, something that cis het people take for granted. It all takes so much energy. And lack of recognition and lived experience on my part is part of why Pride Celebrations are important.
Like any expectant parent I had great hopes for my children and family. I entertained dreams about what they would do, where they would live, who they would marry, if they would have a family and how close we would be. What parent doesn’t have those dreams?
But also as a parent, you begin to recognize that no matter what your dreams are for your child(ren), ultimately it is their life, their passion, their dreams that matter most. It is appropriate to surrender your dreams, in their specific form and shift to fertilizing their soil and watching them bloom as individual, unique humans, who have as much right to exist as you do.
One thing I believe all parents want for their children is to have access to healthcare, education, safety, employment, housing, insurance, investments, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. No matter what they look like, who they love, where they live, their financial status.
I know for me, I want my kids to be contributing members of society. I want them to be kind, generous, loving, empathetic people. I also want them to find what interests them. Become leaders, if they wish. Find love, partnership, friendship and create a family no matter how it looks. What I would hope all people could choose if those were their values and goals.
Pride month is about recognizing the historical need to fight for these rights. Fight for the ability to be employed without prejudice. To find housing and not get kicked out because of sexuality or gender. To have the same rights as any other person living next door or on the other side of the country. To have safety, bodily autonomy. Pride celebrations are about visibility, representation, joy, love, belonging. They are about seeing you are not alone and being seen for who you are. Authentically yourself. Beautiful, wanted, valid.
For those of us who have never experienced being othered or an outsider, we might not understand the need for Pride Celebrations. Two things can be true at the same time. I might not have this lived experience, but others do and acknowledging their struggles and existence is important, essential!
Happy Pride Month this June and every month.